The Beginning of our Baby Journey

I wanted to start this blog not only to give friends/family a way to hear about our family and view photos, but I also wanted the opportunity to help others who might be struggling with the same fertility issues I have. I also wanted a way to "vent" and not feel so lonely while going through these "trials". I hope that this blog will offer some people a little peace and some answers to their questions. I have found it hard to get the questions I have answered properly and/or been able to find any information regarding my particular situation(s). As a result...here we are...

My background:

A couple of years ago I began having terrible, reoccurring migraines. I began seeing a neurologist who believed that the reason I had these migraines could have something to do with hormonal issues and I would have to essentially "grow-out-of-them". (Looking back on this I should have known at that moment that my hormones were definitely wrong) After seeing this neurologist and conferring with other people who had issues with migraines, I decided to quit taking my birth control pills and leave it completely in God's hands.

Those of you who know me know that I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mother, so when I quit taking the birth control I was happy. Not only might I quit having migraines, but now maybe I would fulfill my long wanted dream of being a mother. Wesley and I decided it would be okay if I did become pregnant during this time, but did not begin actively pursing it until this past fall.

This past fall, I began to become more anxious about why we still had not gotten pregnant. I knew plenty of people who simply went off their birth control only to become pregnant within a few months. Why was I still not pregnant when I hadn't been preventing it? I began reading. During this time of study I learned more about the female reproductive system than I ever had in all the many (and I do mean many) science classes I have taken. I learned about ovulation and the miniscule chance of becoming pregnant any women has each month. It was a shocker! I encourage all women out there to read and learn about their bodies! Don't just believe that you simply can have sex and bam be pregnant. It truly does not work this way.

In January I began seeing a new doctor who advised me of the many tests we could do to find out why I was not pregnant after over a year of trying. (First and foremost, let me mention that I am overweight, but this doctor made one of the best comments I have ever heard. She simply told me that if my being overweight was the only reason why I hadn't become pregnant then why can you sit in a mall and see all different sizes of pregnant women?) The first step was having blood work done to see if all of my hormones were in normal ranges.

On the 20th day of my cycle I went back to the doctor's office and had blood work taken to measure my progesterone, estrogen, thyroid, and a few others. Well, surprise surprise...my progesterone was considerably low, a 1.8. (Normal levels are considered to be over 10) My doctor suggested that I begin taking the fertility drug Clomid to help increase these levels. She was determined that I was not ovulating due to this low level of progesterone. I was to begin taking the Clomid on days 5-9 of my following cycle.

Well, my periods are very regular; usually between 28-32 days. In February, I waited and waited for my cycle to begin, but it never came. My mother was determined I was pregnant, but I was doubtful. How could that be if my doctor said that I did not ovulate? I finally decided to take an at home pregnancy test on March 3rd since my cycle was over a week late. And low and behold if it wasn't positive! My husband and family were all so excited, but I was still scared. I could not understand why I did not feel at peace or even excited about it. I began to obsess and take pregnancy test after pregnancy test. I believe I took a total of 5 tests!!! The following day I went into the doctor's office and had a blood test ran to confirm the pregnancy.

On Friday, March 5th the doctor's office called back with the results; I WAS PREGNANT!!!...but my pesky progesterone was lower than what they wanted for pregnancy. (at the time I did not ask about the specific level, but I know now, a 10.4 when the "normal" is above 20) I asked the nurse on the phone should I be concerned and asked her to explain what that meant in terms of the pregnancy. She simply said it was not bad just to take the Prometrium that they were calling into my pharmacy and then come back for more blood work on the following Monday. That was it...To this day I become irritated just thinking about that conversation and how nonchalant she acted...Since the nurse acted like it wasn't a big deal, I began to feel excited. I began to call family and let them know we were expecting and were about 4-5 weeks along.

Here's the gut-rencher...less than 3 hours after all of this celebrating and relief I began to have sharp pains in my lower rightside of my back. I also began to have some brown spotting. I was scared to death! I got my computer out and started researching. Some people claimed it could be implantation bleeding while others were stating it could be a miscarriage. I began to get really scared so I called my doctor (after hours, of course). She stated that it could be the starting of a miscarriage, but it could also be normal. She told me that if I started bleeding heavily or had any severe pain to go to the hospital otherwise I should just take it easy. No more than 30 minutes after this conversation I began to have significant pain and bleeding. I will leave out the details for now, but I had a complete miscarriage. My husband, love his heart, lost his first child on his birthday.

No one can understand what a women goes through when this happens. And to be honest I am not sure I completely grasp what happened. I just wish someone would have told me how serious my progesterone issue was. Of course I was told by the doctor's office that the low progesterone was just a sign of a impending miscarriage, but I know differently. I have heard from too many other ladies who lost babies or have/had infertility issues due to simply low progesterone. This same doctor who acted so concerned and seemed excited to help me pursue my dreams of becoming a mother than refused to listen to anything I had to say, answer any of my questions, or even see me after the miscarriage. I began seeing her nurse practioner. Now given I know that she had stopped delivering babies, but simply saying too bad is not good enough! Needless to say, I have found a new doctor for this and many reasons to follow in my following posts...